“I want to put my soul on airplane mode.”
In my daily doomscrolling ventures, I came across this reddit comment posted under an article about, well… I actually can’t even remember, but it was for sure something to do with the current state of the country and the world. It’s actually kind of wild that so much is happening on the daily that I can’t remember what this article was. But unfortunately that’s the nature of being a human right now existing in this timeline. We are inundated with news articles, pictures, videos, and social media posts highlighting the pure tragedy of our world right now. Hatred, death, violence, the list goes on. I mean, it is truly no wonder that a lot of us just want to disconnect, dissociate and not think about it (i.e. putting our souls on airplane mode). And, on the flip side of that, a lot of us want to stay informed in an effort to know how to help and advocate. This is an incredibly tricky balance to strike, one that I talk about quite a bit with the folks I serve. It’s a balance I try to find on a daily basis, often failing to find it due to the addictive nature of social media and taking in bad news. I figured it could be helpful during these, oh what’s that phrase, ~* unprecedented times *~, to write from my perspective as a therapist (and a human) on how I am navigating this, as well as bring in my clinical knowledge of tools that can be helpful in navigating this experience.
**DISCLAIMER**: Before really digging into this, I do want to acknowledge my privilege of being a cisgender, straight, white woman writing about a society that is deeply rooted in white supremacy and racism, that unfortunately, I have benefitted from just due to being white and having to exist and engage in this system. My hope in writing this is that I can provide my clinical perspective, human perspective, and some tools to help navigate this system (especially in these times) and make a dent in dismantling it a bit.
What you are Feeling is Valid
I find myself often feeling overwhelmed, sad, angry, frustrated, anxious, confused, etc. about what is happening right now. And sometimes, in some more intense feeling moments, I wonder if this is just all a nightmare because it can’t possibly be real. I want to assure you, from a therapist’s perspective, it is totally valid to feel anything that is coming up for you right now. To feel on edge, unsafe, untrusting, and uncertain of the future is an uncomfortable place to be, to say the least. For many, many folks existing in this timeline, this is an everyday experience. Frankly, it is quite traumatic to wake up each day and worry that this might be the day that you and your child are abducted by strangers on the way home from the grocery store due to the color of your skin. Or, furthermore, be straight up murdered by these same strangers for either the color of your skin or for standing up for your community. This is TRAUMA. While I am not the biggest fan of the word ‘normal’, I think Viktor Frankl describes trauma in a succinct and beautiful way – “an abnormal reaction to an abnormal situation is a normal behavior.” If there is anyone in your life trying to minimize or invalidate your feelings around what’s happening in our country and the world, please remember that some of us are living through a collective traumatic experience (the folks who are trying to minimize your feelings have a hard time seeing things from this perspective) and these feelings are 100 percent valid.
To add an interesting perspective to this, also in my doomscrolling, I’ve come across folks trying to live their daily life alongside the trauma and chaos. Thinking about what I’m having for dinner, then shifting to thinking about someone getting murdered in Minneapolis, then back to ‘oh, what is my work day going to look like tomorrow?’, and then to crippling anxiety about feeling so out of control. This is all valid too! Confusing as well, right? Still valid, though. Amidst the chaos, we still have our daily responsibilities, and it is okay to hold these alongside pain and a desire to engage in advocacy (DBT y’all 😉 ).
How are Therapists Feeling Right Now?
I named above a few emotions that come up for me as a human and as a therapist with everything that is happening right now. We are struggling right now y’all, I’ll just be real with you. Whatever you may be feeling right now, we are likely feeling it right there with you. It’s hard to speak from the perspective of other therapists, however I know in my own experience, being neutral in the face of “controversial” topics is just not something I feel like I can do anymore. Being neutral, to me, is a disservice to all marginalized populations who are currently being impacted by the actions of this current administration. So I will likely be joining you in the pain and rage and anything else that may be coming up for you as a client. And I will be providing you with support and tools to navigate the world when it is a raging dumpster fire.
Some Questions you Might Have
Can I talk about this in session?
If I’m your therapist, yes! My hope as a therapist is to provide a safe feeling container to discuss, process, vent, cry, and yell about anything that you need to, including the “controversial” topics. If I’m not your therapist and you are unsure if it’s okay to bring up with your own therapist, I would suggest asking!
How do I keep going?
Ahh yes, the question from the title. Couldn’t keep you in suspense for too much longer These recommendations are a mix of my own personal experience of how to handle it as well as my clinical experience.
- Be mindful of phone time/social media usage: let’s be honest, this is just good general practice for our well-being, but this is especially helpful right now. Nothing like looking at a bright glowing square, taking in the worst news you’ve seen since yesterday’s headlines while you’re trying to fall asleep or wake up in the morning (not that I would know anything about that…). It is important to find that balance of staying informed and taking care of yourself. Maybe you set a time limit for how long you doomscroll in a day, or you only get your news from a trusted news source instead of social media. Social media especially tends to have an addictive nature with its endless scrolling feature, so if you have to be on your phone, maybe you’re doing your Duolingo for the day, or logging your mood in a mood tracking app.
- Learn how to get involved/advocate for your community: sometimes it feels like everything is out of your control as just one person. However, one person getting involved at the community level can create change! If you feel called to and able to, research ways you can get more involved in your community, whether it be through engaging in a protest, volunteering, or donating! Hint hint, the Mending Roots Healing Center instagram page is a great place to find out more about how to get more involved at both a local and national level.
- Take good care of yourself: our nervous systems tend to shut down in these high stress, traumatic moments, so often it can be difficult to remember to engage in self-care practice. Spend time with supportive people, be out in nature, journal, buy yourself a little treat, scream into the void, do whatever it is that fills your cup. You are still deserving of self-care!
- Be kind to yourself: this one kind of goes along with taking care of yourself, but still deserves its own bullet point. This is some wild stuff that we are having to navigate, please remember to give yourself grace throughout the navigation process and know that you are doing the best you can.
In closing, I leave you with a meme, because in these trying times, sometimes it is the stupidest or silliest meme that breaks me out of a doomscrolling spiral.
