Imagine a room. Inside this room there is everything you need. Only, it isn’t a room, because it has no walls, no floor, no ceiling. And it doesn’t exist only in your imagination- it is real and present- with you every moment of every day. And it doesn’t hold only what you need- it holds everything you could ever need. It is dynamic, shifting, changing, and reshaping. It is your body.
Many of us feel ruled by our thoughts, and we struggle to feel connected to the bodies that we live in. When I ask a client to share how they are feeling, many begin by with “I think I am…”, immediately, they are expressing ideas and cognitions, rather than sensations. To orient so much towards thought creates a current that takes us out of the present moment experience, out of the body.
The Purpose of Disconnection
Why do we spend so much time orienting away from the present moment, the lived experience of now that exists in our body? It makes sense- our bodies can hold chronic pain, fear, stress, and anxiety. Staying present to these experiences is never easy. We can feel overwhelmed, even flooded, and then we look for any escape route, including any path that diminishes, or even severs our ability to feel. For some of us, this route is scrolling on our phones; for others it may look like procrastination or overscheduling so as never to have downtime; others still might turn towards alcohol and drugs to alter the intensity of feeling. What could be learned if, instead of numbing and disconnecting, we turned toward the body for information, understanding, safety and connection? What if we learned to trust our body to move us through intense feelings, strong emotions, even the experiences of overwhelm and flooding?
While our thoughts are important and can lead to discovery, creativity, and ingenuity- if we rely solely on our thoughts, and the stories they tell about who we are, we are missing out on the power and knowledge that comes from the body itself. Many of us have patterned thoughts and core beliefs that create barriers to feeling safe and connected:
I am not good enough.
No one gets me, and I will always be alone.
It is a waste of time trying to change- this is just who I am.
I tried that before and it didn’t work- it will never work.
I will never be accepted.
I don’t belong.
These barriers limit the extent to which we feel safe and connected to others and to ourselves. They limit how much we can trust the world and our relationship to that world. They can even limit our ability to feel compassionate towards self and to feel open and curious about what shifts and changes are possible. I often use this simple practice with my clients to illustrate how misleading our thoughts can be. I lift my arms, reaching my hands up over my head, and I say out loud, “I cannot raise my arms. I cannot lift my hands above my head.” What I hope this practice demonstrates is that my words, my thoughts have ZERO effect on my ability to be present with what IS true. My thoughts often keep me tethered to what I fear might be true.
In my training as a Sensorimotor Psychotherapist, I learned that “the body always leads us home . . . if we can simply learn to trust sensation and stay with it long enough for it to reveal appropriate action, movement, insight, or feeling.”- Pat Ogden, PhD. Founder of Sensorimotor Psychotherapy.
The Body is a Truth Teller
The body is often a truth teller- the sensations “are the nonverbal language of our bodies that gives us signals about our emotional and physical needs.” -Pat Ogden, PhD. If we learn to listen for these signals from the body, to recognize and interpret their meaning, we can then learn to trust these sensations to move us towards safety and connection. The sensation of fear, for example, might be experienced as a tightening of the stomach, a buzzy sensation around the eyes, heat from the core of the body radiating down towards the feet. All these sensations, these signals, are orienting towards mobilization- the fight/flight response. Going back to the simple practice shared earlier- what if we trusted only our thoughts at this moment, and our thoughts told us “You cannot rely on yourself- you are helpless.” The signals might get lost- and instead of preparing to mobilize, trusting we can be with the fear and move toward safety and connection, we may instead collapse and freeze.
Getting Out of Our Own Way
In my therapeutic practice, a recurring thread that emerges lies in the question “why do I do that?” This question is usually posed from a place of confusion, even exasperation. Often, the question is about a repeated behavior pattern, one in which there does not seem to be a sense of control or an opportunity to shift. I often hear my clients say something like, “I know in my mind that it isn’t fair to react like that- but my mind doesn’t feel like it is in charge in that moment.” What is often being described here is a patterned response that is no longer serving a helpful purpose- but it is important to recognize that at some point, it served an especially important purpose- to keep you safe.
An example of this could be your relationship to time. Perhaps you are someone who highly values being on time. There is nothing wrong with that- but what if your need to be on time surpasses your ability to feel safe and connected? This might look like rushing from one moment to the next, never feeling still, and feeling a sense of discomfort with rest. I often hear clients describe this as “being on autopilot.” Everything is a blur of activity, and by the end of the day, it may be hard to recall the details of what you did, who you spoke to, and how you felt.
What if, instead of rushing from one moment to the next, you could instead notice the signals your body is sending you- sensations of fear, urgency, unsafety. What if, instead of reacting to thoughts, such as “don’t waste time!” or “you are so lazy and unproductive” you could instead use your awareness of these signals to choose how to respond. This is what somatic therapy can teach us: to witness what is being experienced in the body, and to choose how to respond. We do not have to ignore our thoughts- our busy minds are good at spinning stories and our attention will often go that way. But we can learn to become more attuned to the body, to cultivate mindful awareness of what the body is telling us we need, and to orient towards safety and connection more intentionally.
The 5 Core Organizers-
Back to the example of someone who feels pressured by time, here is a practice to support Listening to Your Body to explore what is needed to feel safer and more connected. I am using the 5 Core Organizers as presented in Sensorimotor Psychotherapy. Each core organizer can help you connect with your internal experience, with what your body is signaling. You can envision each organizer as going from the top (your brain) down towards the bottom (your body), as if on a descending staircase:
1) Cognitions- Your thoughts
“If I am late, everyone will think I don’t care about the project. People will stop trusting me to follow through. Everyone will think I am careless.”
2) Emotions- Your feelings
I feel inadequate, useless, paralyzed, worried.
3) 5 Sense Perceptions- images, smells, sounds, tastes, the feeling of an object or person (touch)
Our senses are the language of our body. See if you can orient towards each sense, and notice what you are experiencing, to draw you more into the body, and into the present moment experience.
I can see:
I can smell:
I can hear:
I can taste:
I can feel (touch):
4) Movement- your impulse to move or shift the body
If you are feeling anxious, you may notice your hands are curled into fists. Perhaps noticing this sensation creates an impulse to tighten your hands into even tighter fists. What happens next? You may notice an impulse to loosen your hands and fingers, to soften the muscles in your hands, to flex your fingers straight. See if you can follow the lead of your body to notice what movement is needed.
5) Bodily Sensations- internal sensations (tingling, temperature change, relaxing of a muscle, etc.)
As you bring your awareness to your body’s movement, and to the impulse to shift, notice the sensations this movement creates. As you tighten your hands into fists, what sensations does that create in your fingers, hands, arms…what about in your shoulders, neck, and face? As you loosen your fists, relax your hands, and soften the muscles, what happens to those sensations? Do they change?
MIND-BODY Connection
Tracking and following these 5 Core Organizers may help you shift from your thoughts into your body. What might be gained from a practice like this? Over time, you might develop more sustainable ways of responding to your emotional and physical needs, and a reorientation towards safety and connection. With practice, you may find more alignment between your thoughts and your felt sensations, as well as an increased flexibility and openness in your thought patterns and beliefs about self. When we cultivate a relationship with the body and allow ourselves to learn from the body, we have everything we need to heal, to grow and to thrive.